sorry

So mad I couldn't even post. I hate this motherfucker I have been married to for almost 16 years with every fiber of my being. It's wrong to wish for someone to die, but I do almost every day. I should be ashamed, because if he died my boys would be really hurt by that, but I can't help it. I cry every day because I'm so miserable. I can't leave because I can't afford to live on my own. I won't leave these boys right now and be accused of abandonment. It's my own fault for owing so much money. Please God help me make it through this. I can only pray and hope I can stay here for a while longer until the boys get a little older. If you are reading my blog, please pray for me and pray that I no longer have to live a meaningless existence.